


Currently nameless

by Ktxitx



Series: I don't know how to call this, it is just because the two stories belong in the same timeline or whatever you'd call that... [2]
Category: BTOB
Genre: I am kind of too lazy to put everybody's name right now, M/M, anyway I don't know what to put here, sungjae is annoying but cute and changsub would love to be a tsundere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-07-10 18:51:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15955379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ktxitx/pseuds/Ktxitx
Summary: I had once again forgotten about the summary... and since I don't know what to put I will do as if I haven't noticed I didn't put one...





	1. Chapter 1

_**Sungjae:** _

Funny how small encounters make people recall lots of memories, when I met the Minhyuk guy, or Eunkwang's probably soon to become boyfriend if he isn't already, they said they had the weirdest encounter ever, and it made me think about my weirdest encounter ever, now a little more than a year before... Back when I was indebted so much I had ended up working for the guy I needed to pay back, to this day I still don't know his real name, we all called him Boss. My job was simple, I would just pretend to be whatever I was paid to pretend to be, I liked to introduce myself as an actor even back then... The money the people paid, I didn't see much of it, most went to pay off the debt and I had just enough to survive. 

One time, I was paid to pretend being with a disgusting old dude, we went to do some traffic at a night club and the dude kept on being too touchy and making passes at me, I was horrified, I was only 20 at the time, so as soon as we got out, I pushed him away and ran to catch the first cab I could (waiting for a bus would have been too long), it didn't please the guy. At all. He called boss saying I had badly done my job and he wanted a reimbursement (when seriously, my presence was not needed at all, but I am still not quite sure what their business was about) and when I got home, one of my boss's man was already waiting for me, since he was much stronger than me, all I could do was run away, I turned off my phone and figured I should disappear for a few days.

I then mostly don't remember the next three days, up until when I woke up somewhere I didn't know. I sighed, what kind of troubles had I gotten myself into this time? My stomach was acting against me and I had a throbbing headache. Where the hell was I? I looked around, it was not precisely tidy but cozy, homey... pictures on the wall, and a real window (my apartment doesn't have those...), I stood up from the bed I had been lying on, seeing that I was fully clothed reassured me but it took some time getting my thoughts back together as I had to stay still for a while, my head was spinning too much. At least, for once it was neither at the police station nor the hospital I was waking up at. But I could have ended up at some pervert's home. Though the room seemed normal. I had been to perverted people's home (and worse) before so I knew what to expect. 

I took a step to the door and hesitantly opened it, afraid of what would be behind. All there was, was a living-room linked to a kitchen, a huge couch, a turned on TV and a guy in the kitchen, cooking something, the whole was clean and spacious, definitely not some old pervert's house... Hearing the door he turned to me:

\- So you've finally woken up? I was starting to think I should wake you...

I blinked, this was probably his home.

\- You should take a shower and change... I'm not sure my clothes will fit you well though...

Who the hell was he and why was he so nice to me? 

It also came to my mind that I hadn't been able to go home for a few days, I was probably a mess. But he didn't comment on it, just showing the way to the bathroom. I still asked:

\- What's your name?

He sighed, looking mad all of a sudden, he hit my arm repeatedly:

\- I already told you around a hundred times! My name is Lee Changsub. Lee. Chang. Sub! -then he stopped, seemingly realizing something- You don't remember anything from this morning, do you? 

I nodded, feeling awkward. He just laughed and pushed me to the bathroom:

\- Just wash up first!

Hum... weird.

When I got back out of his bathroom, feeling awkward as the sweats he had given me were a bit too tight, but he didn't say anything, just asking if I preferred a special program for my clothes to be washed. Seriously, what is wrong with this guy? 

His face vaguely reminded me of something, but I really couldn't remember what exactly...

I answered that I didn't really care, feeling shy, for probably the first time of my life. I have the bad habit of making friends with anyone, but never had I woken up in such a normal place... bad people tend to try and take advantage of my drunken habits. Tough this guy definitely hadn't... 

Once he had turned on the washing machine, he came back to the kitchen, gesturing for me to sit down as he placed rice and side dishes in front of me. Seriously, why was he so nice? It was as if he knew I hadn't had a proper meal in forever...  
He had kept silent, sipping a coffee until he said, and it surprised me once again:

\- I will go with you to your place, if he's still there, I will take care of it...

I frowned once more, I figured I had probably told him about my life and I was curious of just how much of it I had told:  
\- Hum... was I... hum... how? I mean...  
I was just a mumbling mess and he smiled, making his eyes disappear and it was so cute I wondered how such a cute being would "take care of it" but I didn't have time to think too much as he just answered:

\- You're a very talkative drunk youngster...- he stood up, putting some more rice in my plate (at this point it was magic, how could he know I was still hungry?).  
Was this guy just very nice or had he other weirder motives? I had no idea. Once my clothes were clean and dry, he put them in a bag and told me I could keep his stuff, at least to go home since it was warmer, I shrugged, still feeling awkward, why was this guy so normal about all of this? I doubt he took in a lot of drunken people in his house...

He drove me to my place and, as he had been there since that night, my boss's dude was there, to my surprise, the Changsub guy went out of the car first and went to the dude. They talked for like, not even 2 minutes and the guy started walking away, mumbling something, I had gotten out of the car, but I was stuck, not knowing what to do, and once more, the Changsub guy surprised me when he held back the man and gave him one amazing punch in the face (I think what the dude had mumbled before triggered the punch but Changsub has never made the punching part clear to me), saying something that I didn't quite get from where I was. But the guy didn't fight back, he just swore and run to his car yelling that he was crazy...

Changsub walked back to me and just said they should leave me alone, and that I should stay out of trouble from now on. He handed me a business card and added:  
\- In case you need me again.  
And he coolly left. I put his card in my pocket and went inside, I cleaned around a bit, and only stopped when my phone rang, it was Boss. I picked up and heard that scary voice yelling:  
\- YOOK. SUNG. JAE! 

The rest was not quite what I had expected. Apparently, my debt had been paid off. Not just the money the guy wanted back, but my whole debt... Which meant that I was free, and I didn't need to work for him anymore. He hung up before I could ask anything about my debt being paid off and I ended up still standing in the middle of my room, bewildered...

I suddenly remembered the business card and looked at it... oh boy, I know this company... that guy is rich, like very rich, like very _very_ rich... I wondered why he lived in such a discrete apartment... He could probably afford the best place of all town...  
I frowned... it could only be him who could have paid such a high amount of money like that... But now I was indebted to him and he hadn't mentioned anything about that...

And this was one of the weirdest day of my life, when I told the beginning of the story to Minhyuk to outdo his, he said it wasn't that weird, I think it is... No-one can beat the weirdness that is my life...

 

What happened after you ask? 

 

I went to the company a few days later and put on a show, why didn't I try calling? I did, but that idiot doesn't put his cell phone number on the card, it's his secretary's, the latter blocked me after five calls, saying that _"Mr Lee has not said anything about you sir, I am hanging up now."_

So I went there, dressed in the bestest suit ever, and went to his secretary, and did the "I'm a business man" show, did I mention I could have been a great actor? Anyway, I entered the place:

\- IS IT YOU? - the secretary looked at me eyes opened widely and shrugging- Is it you, who dared hung up on me? _Yook Sungjae?_ Who do you think I am? To think I had to actually come here... I am busy you know! Now, where is my soon to be business partner?

She became a mumbling mess, trying to look for my name somewhere, probably thinking she had made a huge mistake, I rambled on and was close to run out of ideas when Changsub had the good idea to step out of his office, I actually don't know how much of my incredible acting he heard since I didn't notice him until I heard his voice:

\- What in the world are you doing here, Yook Sungjae?

I spun around, ready to keep on with my wonderful Business Sungjae act but I didn't have time to, for he added, turning to his secretary:

\- Don't believe anything he said, he's a con-artist... 

I sighed, this marked the end of the wonderful career Business Sungjae was about to have...

\- Anyway, why are you here? I thought we were supposed "not to see each other again"...

The air quote he did made me wonder if he was quoting me, but I had no remembrance whatsoever of ever saying such a thing, so I didn't quite understand, which led to him just shrugging mumbling:

\- I guess you changed your mind...

Did I say I never quite remembered how we had met? Very seriously, to this day I still have no idea of how I even ended up at his place, apart from what he told me, which isn't much, like, when I asked why he had paid my debt, he answered we had played it over rock-paper-scissor and he had lost (but he wouldn't tell me what I was to do if _I_ had lost), and that for some reason, I didn't want to see him again, and adding bits and pieces from time to time...

The worst part of it is that I think I basically told him my whole life. Sometimes he states a fact about me and I'm like, when the hell did I tell him that? Then I figure, probably that day... Just how drunk was I? I have done a lot of stupid stuff while drunk, but telling my whole life story to a complete stranger... this has to be the only one time.

But, the thing is, it really isn't funny that way, I like to keep a bit of a mystery about me, but it turned out to be impossible with Changsub... man, that guy has one hell of a memory... Anyway, back on the story I was telling: I bothered him until I managed to gain his phone number to be able to pay him back, once I had the money, of course. 

And I started taking the habit of sending texts whenever I felt like it, at first, he answered polite stuff, then it became "please stop sending so many messages!!", then it became less and less polite, and after a while, he almost stopped answering, it is true that I had been texting a lot... like a lot. These weren't the best days for me, and I didn't have many other people to talk to... But after two weeks (of, I have to admit nonstop texting), I decided to take matters in my own hands and started a few (a lot) of new part time jobs, I was determined to pay him back as soon as possible, I ended up having so many jobs I would only sleep around 4 hours by nights and run around all day, I even stopped texting.

Which I thought he didn't care about until I received a text, at 3 in the morning, three weeks later, asking if I was still alive (I now suspect he only sent it because he was drunk, but he would never admit that, would he?). It kind of pleased me that he had ended up asking, but since I had my pride, I waited for a few hours before just answering "yes".

Since he never answered, I thought he had forgotten about me, but I was surprised, the next day, as I was coming home from my night shift at the convenience store to find him randomly sitting in front of my door. This was quite unexpected. He stood up as soon as he saw me, sighing in relief, but quickly regaining his composure:  
\- Oh... you're there.

As if he showing up in the middle of the night was totally normal.  
\- Yes, I am... Why are _you_ here though?

He looked uncomfortable as he scratched his head before answering, in a mumble:  
\- I was kinda… worried... you got me used to you incessant texting so when you stopped, I felt uneasy...

Wait... he had stopped answering but he still read them? Cute. His attempt at seeming cool was cute. I think he was trying out tsundere type, but he is too cute, it can't work well (I, on the other hand, am a master at this).

I invited him in but he politely refused, saying he had other matters to attend to (in the middle of the night?) and he left. I guess he really just wanted to see if I was indeed still alive... 

I still didn't have time to text so I didn't. Which led to the thing I expected the least two weeks later. A phone call.

Though, I was highly disappointed, I didn't answer because I was working when it rung, but I got surprised by the 2 minutes long voice message. I listened to it, it turned out it had just been a pocket call, I almost didn't listen to it till the end but I am glad I did, otherwise I would never have heard the cute squeal that I heard by the end, followed by a quick apology, saying it was just a pocket call. Really, Lee Changsub was cute. And I wondered how in the world that (the pocket call) had managed to happen...

Though I was doing well, exhaustion caught back with me and, as I had been working too much, I basically got forced on a break by one of my bosses. He said I needed proper resting time.  
Which I did, I spent the next day buried in my covers, sleeping soundly until I got woken up by somebody raping my doorbell ring, I stood up, I probably looked like an owl and I had still a blanket around me. I opened my door and was met with, not surprisingly, since I am telling a story about him, Lee Changsub. He looked pissed and held his phone right in front of my face:  
\- DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS IS FOR?!!?! TO CALL AND RECIEVE CALLS!!!

He went in without being invited to, pushing me aside while adding:  
\- I need to disappear for an hour or two, I am avoiding someone’s visit… and since I helped you out last time, I figured you could help me on this one. By the way, go back to sleep you look awful, I mean, you seriously look like you've just arisen from the dead...

I stopped him, smiling:  
\- Wait a second you... There's a condition.

He looked at me surprised and I nodded:  
\- Stop ignoring my texts.

He sighed before answering that okay, he would answer from time to time.

This was fine enough. 

My apartment being very small, like, just one room, he sat on the only chair there was and was apparently ready to rest for a while. No. Not now that I was awake. 

I managed, after some hardships (and having checked my phone, he had indeed tried to call me multiple times), to get more information about him (for example, he is 4 years older than me), and whole-heartedly decided he was a hyung I could trust, he already knew too much about me anyway. 

\- So hyung, since it's gonna take me a while to pay you back, let me be your best friend!  
\- No. And I'm not your hyung.  
\- Ohhhh... Come on _hyung_!!~ Let's be best friends in the world!!!!  
\- No. I already have too much best friends...  
\- Then... Boyfriend?  
He looked at me as if I was some kind of alien who had just showed up out of nowhere before slowly answering, his stare never leaving my eyes:  
\- No. Way. In. Hell.  
Rejected again... Why is he like that? I knew the boyfriend wouldn't work but I expected a somewhat nicer rejection... I sighed and tried again:  
\- Close friend then???  
He sighed:  
\- Very distant friend that I might hang out with once in a while. 

I nodded, I was alright with that. 

After he left, I weirdly felt like I had made a huge advancement, my interrupted sleep all forgotten and I would have gladly worked the next day, but as I said, exhaustion had taken over, I hadn't been at work for a whole hour I literally passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I kind of cut the chapter weirdly but it was getting way too long... Anyway, thanks a lot for reading, since I've been writing less, I am full of unwritten ideas, so if it gets weird, it is just because I let my brain get carried away... 
> 
> I hope you have a great day!!!


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up a few hours later, in a hospital bed and a wild Lee Changsub asleep on a chair next to my bed.

Oh right, I might have put him as my "in case of emergency" number. As I said, I didn't have a lot of people to turn to back then. Ever since my mother had died, it had always been only my dad and I, but he had disappeared a few years back, after putting us in huge debt, saying he would come back with the money. He never did. I wasn't even 17 when he had left. But now isn't the time to think about this... So I woke up and contemplated waking Changsub up, but he seemed so peaceful, I decided to leave him for a while. I stood up and went to inquire about my state, got yelled at by a nurse and forced back into bed, which woke Changsub up and he looked like he was about to murder someone, so I felt a bit guilty that he had ended up here in the first place. A doctor came in and explained that rest, was something every human needed and that included me. I ended up quitting one of my part time jobs, to get more resting time (quite a hard decision to do though).

Changsub didn't talk much when the doctor was there, but afterwards he told me to take a better care of myself at least a thousand times and he left not too long after I woke up, saying that he didn't need to stay since I was fine now. I actually really needed a friend at that time but I ended up feeling contented that he had come to check on me, and waited for me to wake before leaving. 

Nothing fun happened for a few days after that, I got back on my feet, Changsub would occasionally answer my texts and, wait for it, even ask questions from time to time! Mostly checking if I was taking enough resting time though...But I didn't see him until the day I met Eunkwang, when I decided I wanted a very specific kind of coffee and I went to a coffee place I really like. I was ordering when I noticed a familiar guy, Lee Changsub talking and laughing with a guy, I guessed he was his friend and wanted to go say hi but felt somewhat shy, feeling like I wanted to make him laugh like that too but quite didn't know how. In the end, it's his friend who noticed me, nudging Changsub's arm:

\- Dude, (his attempt at being discrete was a fail as I could hear him just fine) there's a weird guy staring...

Changsub raised his head and our eyes met for a few seconds.

\- Oh. It's just Yook Sungjae. Don't bother, he is a pain in the a...

He never got to finish as I walked to him and tapped his arm:

\- You shouldn't use bad words Hyung~

I was smiling from ear to ear and I wasn't exactly sure why I was so happy to see him. I added turning to his friend:

\- Hi, I'm Yook Sungjae, I'm an actor and I am Changsubie-hyung's best friend!

The guy looked surprised, and would almost have seem pitiful if he hadn't been doing such a hilarious face:

\- Subbie... you've got… a friend I never… heard of? 

\- No, Eunkwang-hyung, this is just a random weird guy that I helped out once and he won't leave me alone now.

I sat next to the Eunkwang guy and smiled:

\- I'm always up to make new friends. Eunkwang-hyung is my new friend then!!!

Eunkwang smiled at me and I knew he had already adopted me. We ended up talking for more than an hour, while Changsub was silently banging his head on the table, apparently not pleased with our newborn friendship. 

 

The next time I saw Changsub was also a coincidence. I had just got off work and had gone to a grocery store, intending to buy some beers, and had found myself right behind Changsub at the cashier. This was such an unexpected event, I jumped on him and asked what he was doing, why he was here and if I could stay with him, he said no at first but couldn't resist my cuteness, so I ended up going with him at Eunkwang's house (he also said that Eunkwang kept harassing him to invite me over).

There, I met Peniel. I think anyone could have think I was lovestruck, I mean, Peniel is so awesome. He is great, he very quickly became one of my favorite person in the whole world, of course, at that time he couldn't reach Changsub's level... Anyway, I also met Hyunsik and found him cute (though Eunkwang and Changsub kept talking about him being a playboy), and Ilhoon and found him funny. Though I didn't get everything that was going on. I almost managed to make them believe I would be the next actor to become international but since Changsub was around, it was hard to say whatever I wanted to. 

And Ilhoon sulked, saying he should be Changsub's favorite little brother but I seemed ready to steal his spot. He ended up running to Hyunsik, screaming that at least, he was still "Hyunsikie-hyung's favorite", I remember thinking that guy had an obvious hidden crush on Hyunsik. But then he told me Hyunsik and him would marry each other someday and I realized that said crush wasn't that hidden and that guy was kind of delusional. But I liked them anyway.

Time passed by. I got closer them. Well, I guess mostly to Changsub, but to everyone else too. I liked going at Eunkwang's to watch sports match, even if it usually involved having to witness Ilhoon trying to cook, I loved it when Hyunsik would sometimes randomly bring his guitar and felt blessed whenever he played, I loved how Eunkwang would sing along, it somewhat felt like spending the evening with the family I wish I had...

After Ilhoon and I became drinking buddy one night (first of many others), we decided to help each other out. I would support him in his Hyunsik-marrying quest (though I still am not sure what exactly this is about) and he would help me crush Changsub's dating life (which I have to admit, he did quite a good job at, though most of it never actually came to action, we liked planning it but we wouldn’t act because we still had some parcel of pride within us, we might have actually done it once or twice and Changsub just thought he had been stood up… I am not very proud of it now so I’ll skip through it a bit, and no, I was no psycho, unlike what some might think, I still knew where to put limits…).

And… Oh! I forgot about that. I asked Changsub out again, for real this time, a few times actually. And he always declined. Which, you probably guessed, I wasn't really okay with. 

I really did like him. As I have said already, I wasn't in the best place when we met. And though he acted like he didn't care about me (he never lost his "I'm a tsundere" act), he did. Whenever I would say anything that slightly showed I wasn't alright, he would either _actually answer my texts_ or randomly show up when I didn't expect him to. And I don't know, ever since we had met, I felt weirdly drawn to him, I mean, he still let me around... 

I also got comfortable, we both did, I managed to make him talk about himself more, (using as an argument that it was unfair he knew more about me than I did about him, and he had to oblige)... and he started treating me like a like a little bro, I mean, I think that's how he saw it... it only made me fall more I guess.

Anyway, I guess I didn't exactly know why I liked him but I did, and he did like me, he was just oblivious about it, okay, maybe he didn’t like me the same way I liked him, but at least, he didn’t hate me!

~

And that's about then we met Minhyuk, a bit more than a year after we had met... Well, I was kind of hurt Changsub had met him and not even mentioned my existence, but I wouldn't have admitted that, as I said before, I still have my pride.

My attempts at having Changsub go out with me were still a fail, my birthday was also coming up, I usually didn't celebrate it since it is the day right after my mother's death anniversary. So I'm usually not in the mood. 

After a visit to my mother's grave on that day, I didn't feel like being alone so I went to the only logical place in my mind at the time: Changsub's apartment. I knocked, not actually expecting anything since it was the middle of the afternoon, and as expected, he wasn't there. I went out of his building and sat on a nearby bench, I didn't feel like going home, I figured I could stay there for a while, looking at the high-schoolers playing basketball, letting my mind go wherever it wanted...

I got interrupted in my somber thoughts of death, beyond and abandonment by Eunkwang, who looked overjoyed to have found me, he took out his phone, dialed a number and sang-sung that he had found me, already next to me and putting an arm around my shoulder. He hung up.

\- Hey Sungjae, Changsub told me to look for you in unexpected places, I didn't think I was that perspicuous…

A small smile crept up on my face, Eunkwang is a funny guy, I love him, I didn’t say anything, letting him go on:

\- I actually have no idea of why we’re looking for you, but I’m glad I found you, you look so down!! Come, let’s go to my place, Minhyuk and I made cookies!!

To be true, I was afraid said cookies would taste awful but food is food, I went with him.

 

_**Changsub:** _

Ahhh... Yook Sungjae had invaded my mind again... but I can't help it, worrying about him I mean... It has kind of become a second nature to me… Who knows what that idiot might do?

What? Not happy to have my side of the story? You preferred when it was Sungjae telling? I'm pretty sure that little perverted brat has been telling it so I look like a meanie!! Which, by the way, is completely untrue, if there's a victim here, it's definitely me!

Anyway, the day before Sungjae's 22nd anniversary. I woke up with an uneasy feeling, remembering when Sungjae told me about why he usually doesn't celebrate his birthday. I shook my head, maybe he would be just fine. But I still sent Eunkwang, who was on a day off for some reason, off Sungjae hunting because I recalled him telling me it's the day he feels the loneliest of the year. 

Am I still the mean one here? He's the one who had been joking about going out with me all the time and who spent a weirdly high amount of time meddling with my life... 

I saw Eunkwang was calling and immediately answered, so he had found Sungjae? Good, Eunwkang texted he was bringing him home to give him cookies (now that I think about it, that text was very weird, without context, it seems a lot like a psychopath luring his victim in…), having already been the cookie victim in the past, I hoped Eunkwang had changed his recipe or at least found a way to make it tastier...

When I got off work, I went to Eunkwang's without much thoughts and found a lot of people there, Ilhoon was in a middle of... was it a kind of play? I think he was trying to entertain Sungjae, who by the way, looked terrible, even Peniel's presence in the room wasn't making it any better... There were plates of cookies close by but as they seemed untouched I suspected they were awful... Minhyuk was in the kitchen and seemed busy trying to save another round of cookies and Eunkwang was washing their previous dishes...  
Apart from Ilhoon, everyone was weirdly calm.

Sungjae got us used to a lot of noise, at lot of complaints, and a lot of time compulsively lying about whatever's going on in his mind. The only time I saw him down like this was the first time we met... I didn't like it one bit.

I went to sit beside him, not saying anything because I hadn't yet found the right words, so I figured I could try sacrificing myself and took a cookie. I won't tell about this experiment because I do not want to ever even think of it again. But my reaction did manage to bring out a little glimpse of a smile on Sungjae's face. At least, my sacrifice hadn't been in vain.

Later, I drove Sungjae home, because knowing him, if we had let him go home alone he would have stopped into a bar and drank until he passed out, I don't like Sungjae's drinking habits. He gets drunk easily but doesn't know when to stop. It's really bad.

I stayed with him as long as he wanted me to, I really didn't feel like leaving him alone like this. He fell asleep while we were watching tv and O left after having put a blanket over him. Sungjae always act like he is tough and has it under control, but by that time I knew he was a soft crybaby who loved to be taken care of. I left a little note wishing him a happy birthday. I knew he would be fine, Sungjae's got willpower...

 

_**Sungjae:** _

I thought I had made some sort of achievement around my birthday, I mean, Changsub had spent most of his time trying to cheer me up and had ended up just comforting me. In any case, he had stayed with me. Just thinking about it made me smile...

But no, no, no, no... Mr Lee Changsub did not see it that way apparently. Just around a week later he was on a date. And that date led to other dates, and the date became his boyfriend. And they were together and I hated that, but I took control of myself... which maybe has to do with the other guys managing to stop me whenever I wanted to go interfere. 

It was the worst. If I had thought I liked Changsub before, I realized that it wasn't just a passing crush that would go away soon, though it had already been lasting for more than a year. I really couldn't imagine myself ending up with someone else than him. Sure, we wouldn't seem like the perfect couple, always bickering over nothing, always having something to joke about the other... But really, I wouldn't bicker that much with him if I didn't like it that much, that face when he gets frustrated because he has nothing to come up with to fight back, or these times where he makes that face like he doesn't care, when he managed to win the argument with one striking sentence. I like every bits of it...

Anyway, they stayed together way, way too long. Around four months later, they still hadn't broken up. Why the still? Changsub would go on a lot of different dates, but rarely actually started going out with the person. 

The worse is that I couldn't even hate him. He was genuinely a nice guy. Changsub's boyfriend.

At least, there was one positive side: I had stopped spending so much time interfering with Changsub's dating life (yes, I, Yook Sungjae, had temporarily admitted defeat), and worked more, whenever I would look at my bank account, I would smile. 

I had reached half of it. My debt I mean. Actually a bit more but that part I would give later, I need to live properly...

Since I was ready to pay half of my debt, I went to Changsub's place, overjoyed and forgetting about everything. 

On the way here, I had the strangest sight. It couldn't be real, could it? This man walking out of a bar with his friends, laughing loudly could not be him. It could not be my father. I refused to believe it. It could not be possible. No. I felt too betrayed, too lost to think relatively. I decided it wasn't him, it couldn't be and it wouldn't bring me down.

But when I arrived at Changsub's I was still completely out of it. I didn't know whether I was sad or angry. I just knew I couldn't believe he was back in town and hadn't even checked on me. 

To makes thing worse, Changsub's boyfriend was the one to open the door. And he looked at me weirdly. I probably didn't look my best, but even like that, I'm handsomer than the average, so I didn't get the weird look... I walked past him and sat on the couch, I was still bewildered. I only got out of it when I felt Changsub's hand on my arm and I raised my head, surprised by the worried look he had on, I didn't get why he was so worried. I had half of the money I owed him, he should be happy. The money I had been working hard to pay back my father's debt. My father who was back in town. He had come back, and not checked on me at all.

I then don't remember what happened, it’s like a huge blackout. Next thing I knew, I was waking up in Changsub's bed for the second time of my life. I stood up and walked out. It seemed it was morning already. How long had I slept? When had I even fallen asleep in the first place?

\- OH MY GOD! YOOK SUNGJAE!!! YOU SCARED ME SO MUCH YESTERDAY! NEVER! YOU HEAR ME? NEVER EVER, EVER DO THAT AGAIN!

I couldn't do anything but look at the apparently angry Changsub; who had come out of the bathroom, aggressively holding a toothbrush pointed at me, what the hell did he mean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This... was not supposed to get this long... I might have got carried away...  
> Anyway, the chapter has been kind of ready for a few days already but, it kinds of frustrates me because I feel like I can't exactly express what I want to, I'm so bad at expressing feelings...(by that I myself understand what I am saying but I am not sure anyone else does...) it really isn't my cup of tea... Anyway, thanks a lot for reading, let's hope things turn out fine for sungjae, and i'm sorry to his family, i'm sure they're great people!!
> 
> Have a great day!!!


	3. Chapter 3

_**Changsub:** _

What? Still not happy to hear my side of the story? Why would you even! If I recall well, I remember way more than Sungjae does! And I'm pretty sure he twisted everything! For your information, unlike what he says, I am not, and have _never been_ a bully! I should have my word to say in all of this, shouldn't I? And I'm a way better story teller than he is anyway... So, it had been one hell of a night, I hadn't slept one bit, which I have to say, was influencing my mood... 

Why did that brat seem so surprised by my words? That kid had really scared the hell out of me, he had arrived looking wrecked the day before, stared off in the distance for around ten minutes, then finally noticing I had been trying to establish communication and smiling like a creepy psychopath in a lame horror movie and just like that, collapsing.

If it had been all, I might have let it pass. 

However, it had not. That idiot woke up and was completely delirious. He even called me... He called me... _mom_... And not just once! And then again, I don't think there is _anything_ in me that might even from afar recall anyone's mother. And I'm passing through the rest of the weird shit he blurted out all night, a friendly reminder of when we had first met and I was in no mood to put up with Sungjae's antics but I was too concerned about him to manage sleeping... Seriously, that kid... It did make me wonder just how exactly did Sungjae see me? I mean, he was all jokes all the time, jokingly asking me to go out with him, and always lying about everything... I knew he wasn't doing well but he wouldn't be serious with me, so I couldn't get a real picture...

Anyway, I had to bring back some sense into him and was ready to go smack his arm but he suddenly flinched looking overwhelmed and all I could do was run to catch him, dropping my toothbrush on the way (I cursed at myself, it was a brand new one). Oh no. He couldn't start this shit again, I actually needed to go to work. But I couldn't just leave him like that. I helped him sit and figured I should take the morning off and maybe even bring him to the hospital. Though he was asserting that he was fine, I was pretty sure he wasn't. 

I went to look for anything to eat, I had only managed to have him drink some soup the night before and had no idea of when was the last time he had had a proper meal.

At some point, I heard some commotion coming from the couch where I had left Sungjae, I prayed he wasn't being delirious again because I was not ready for that. Turned out he was just wondering why I had left him all alone and he tried to trap me in a hug, but he was so weak I dodged without much difficulty, what does he think I am? Definitely not his personal hug giver.

In the end I ended up letting him trap me because we all know I'm weak when it comes to Sungjae.

After a self-congratulatory discourse that almost had me change my mind, Sungjae finally settled, wrapping his arms around me and laying his head on my shoulder.  
I thought he was dosing off but then he started talking nonsense again and I figured I should take the whole day off... 

I managed to make him stop talking and called my office, I wasn't too guilty on taking the day off since there wasn't anything going on today anyway. Once I had hung up I had a startle noticing Sungjae looking at me with stars in the eyes, seriously, that kid is weird...

\- You're staying with me all day?

I nodded frowning, his voice sounded weirdly high-pitched and I suddenly got crushed in a hug. Apparently, he was happy about it.

\- Sungjae, now will you tell me what the hell is going on with you?

Sungjae had gone back to acting like he had fallen asleep, he still hadn't let go of me, not that I minded, but it was weird for him to act like this. After a while, he calmly answered:  
\- I came here yesterday because I wanted to tell you I have half of the money and I was glad. 

\- And that made you... sick? Or whatever _that_ was.

Sungjae shook his head, sitting back suddenly, looking pale.

Ok, something had definitely happened while he was on his way here.

\- No... nothing happened.

And he did not want to tell me about it.

\- Sungjae...

\- ...Yes?

\- I'm not that dumb, something definitely happened. If you don't want to tell me what, I understand, just be honest...

Sungjae was now looking down, and I somehow felt like I was scolding a kid. Which wasn't the kind of things I did, like, ever...

He looked so down. I wanted to do something, because I didn't want him to go mad again and because I felt bad for him, but I didn't know what. I always hate it when he looks down. Sungjae is a bright person that should be happy all the time. I love when he laughs because it makes the world seem a brighter place. But I wasn't sure trying to make him laugh was the most appropriate thing to do right now, so I just waited, feeling like an idiot.

\- It's my father.

\- It only struck you now? I don't want to offend you but he is kind of a douche for disappearing like that without...

I never got to finish my sentence as Sungjae suddenly stood up and kicked the couch, which really surprised me. If there's one thing Sungjae is not, it's violent. 

\- I saw him yesterday.

Oh.

I could see tears forming in Sungjae's eyes and couldn't stand it. I stood up and wrapped my arms around him because I didn't know what else to do, it was kind of weird because it did not stop him from kicking the couch a second time. I figured I should get him away from the couch and remembered about how I wanted him to eat something so I let him go just to take his hand and lead him to my kitchen, I made him sit and shushed him when he tried to say something. I felt like déjà vu, but this time, he was sober. 

\- Just eat something. 

I heated up some leftovers I had and added rice. He looked at me with a blank stare throughout my little traffic. I put the plate in front of him and motioned for him to eat.

He ate it all and I figured my earlier guessing had been right: he hadn't had a proper meal in a long time. He always says he takes care of himself... I know he doesn't. 

He didn't say anything until he was finished, I had made myself a coffee and was just waiting for him because now that he had started, he was most probably going to keep on telling me everything that he had on the heart. At least I thought but all that came from him was a thanks. I was about get up, thinking he wouldn't say anything more in the end when he blurted it all out, I felt my heart breaking when I saw tears filling up his eyes again.

Sungjae had been treated as a grown-up too early. I found it so sad. His childly innocence had been ripped off him and I always felt like I should ease his burden, let him feel like the youngster he was. Not that he would let me, but I tried to do my best.

I eventually stood up and went to wrap my arms around him again, I didn't know what else to do... As I said, I _tried_ my best: I am not that good at human relations, I'm too awkward for this world...

I got surprised when Sungjae pushed me away, wiping his tears away, I guess he was trying to look strong.

Omg he is so cute at times...

\- Wouldn't your boyfriend be mad if he saw you hugging people around like there's no tomorrow??

He was sniffing while talking, omg could he get any cuter? What was he talking about again? My boyf... Oh right, he doesn't know.

\- We... broke up.

He looked at me surprised. That's right, he had no idea that the reason I had broken up with such a nice guy was him and him only. I just couldn't get that damned Sungjae out of my head. I felt bad. So I decided to end it. It didn't feel right.

He was about to leave yesterday when Sungjae arrived. It was a clean break up, we had never planned to take it far anyway and he told me he had been hesitating to end it too... But today wasn't about my failure of a love life, it was about cheering Sungjae up.  
I asked him what bar he had seen him at and figured I would do my thing later.

Sungjae was still weak, so I put him in bed, asserting that he needed rest over everything.  
I wanted to leave but he clung to me and I stayed. Did I say I had grown weaker to Sungjae over time? I don't know, I just can't resist that brat, I guess that's because he is cute…

~~~~~~

I smiled waving at Eunkwang, he had that I-know-you-did-something-stupid-again frown on and I chose to ignore it, gesturing to him that his coffee was already waiting. He sat in front of me and wouldn't stop frowning:  
\- Lee Changsub, what did you do this time?

It had been a week since the day that I now refer to as: The Day Sungjae Finally Lost It, and I quickly answered: 

\- I didn't do anything embarrassing I promise!!!! How can you be so sure I did something bad? Though it's true I might have...

I sheepishly took a sip of my coffee after letting my voice die without finishing my sentence, Eunwang had now his arms crossed and looked done with me. What? What is wrong with hunting down Sungjae's father and make him take responsibility? Absolutely nothing, I did what was right. I had decided to help Sungjae more than a year ago, it wasn't to give up now. Sungjae should never have paid for anything in the first place.

Maybe I was a bit overdoing it, but I wasn't going to accept any of Sungjae's hard-worked for money. He would use it for itself and his father would be the one paying. That's what I had explained the latter. Of course, he wasn't completely ruthless and explained to me that he hadn't yet gone to see Sungjae because he felt ashamed of leaving him like that, I might have gotten a bit angry at him and told him what I thought of his behavior without much respect, but at this point, I had unknowingly started considering Sungjae as family. 

Okay, maybe Eunkwang was right to be frowning at me... But really, I intended well... 

After I reluctantly told him everything that had happened, Eunkwang sighed and stared at me for a weirdly long time, frowning, after that weird long silence, long enough for me to be able to finish my coffee and consider ordering another one, Eunkwang finally said something:

\- You know... I've been wondering for a while... Do you like Sungjae?

Like Sungjae? Of course, he was like a cute little brother, but then Eunkwang added:

\- And I don't mean as in friend like, I mean like as in like _like_...

I frowned. Did I like Sungjae that way? To be true it had never even once crossed my mind... but now that he mentioned it, I should be giving it some thought shouldn't I?

\- Why?

Eunkwang took a long sip of coffee before answering, shrugging:

\- I've never seen you go out of your way that much for someone before, that's it... And, by the way, Sungjae, he likes you... in his own weird way...

Yook Sungjae? Like me? No way. Sungjae made it pretty clear when we met that I was _not_ his type... 

I got startled by Eunkwang's sudden grown of frustration.

\- What?

He pouted:  
\- I expected at least some flustering from you, you don't even seem to care when I'm giving you such a precious information...

But I was pretty sure it wasn't true. So I just shrugged and Eunkwang deeply sighed:

\- Lee Changsub, it's official. You're a stupid idiot.

Says _**Eunkwang**_.

But I have to say I was a bit confused. Why was I suddenly an idiot?

\- I'm only telling you what Sungjae told _me_ , well, told Ilhoon who told Hyunsik who told me, that he likes you but he doesn't know how to express it since you always think he is joking around.

Wait. 

What now?

~~~~

\- Ya! Yook Sungjae.

He was just stepping out of his part time job at the chicken restaurant, and looked surprised to find me here,

\- Well, hello to you, hyung, first, why in the world are you here? Yes, I had a good day and, just out of curiosity, did you go see my father? Because he actually contacted me and said some crazy guy had went to see him. Given that it wasn't me, I took the liberty of assuming it was you...

Hum, there he was again, trying to look all tough and unaffected. Yook Sungjae, I know you now, this facade doesn't work with me anymore. But this is getting out of focus, I was here for a certain purpose, and would fulfill it:

\- Nevermind that, Yook Sungjae. I heard some weird shit and want to clarify everything.

I had crossed my arms and was frowning, Yook Sungjae, would not get away with this.

\- Why in the world do you go around saying you like me?

Sungjae's face then went through diverse expressions that I will pass through because there were way too many to describe only to end up looking disappointed and sighing, asking in a tired voice:

\- So, even from someone else... you still think I'm fucking joking hyung?

...

Wait...

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait…

Had I been missing something?

I watched in horror as Sungjae brushed past me, sighing once more before starting to wamk away after saying:  
\- Seriously, I didn't think anyone could be _this_ dense.

I got back to my senses just in time before he started entering the subway station:

\- Yook Sungjae. Wait! I'll drop you off.

He hesitated, and walked two more steps before stopping and turning around, looking puzzled. I knew he was about to reject my offer so I just caught up with him and grabbed his arm, dragging him to my car, he would get home much faster by car anyway.

He went in giving me that look he has when he is mad and I realized this would be the longest drive of my life.

I sighed... Maybe. Maybe it was time.

Did I tell you that I thought Sungjae faked not remembering that time when we met at first? That was only until I saw how he was when drunk. That's about when I realized he really didn't remember anything, and that is also how I confirmed to myself that he was indeed on some weird drugs when we had met, but anyway, I figured it would be better not telling him because he would feel uncomfortable if he knew, that is why I had decided to just keep our meeting to myself, but maybe, maybe this would clear out my name... Or at least make him understand why I was "so dense", I was still pretty much confused though.  
I started the engine and after a while, I softly asked:

\- Your really don't remember anything from when we met, do you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Helllo!!!  
> Okay, so I intended to make it 3 chapters but... yeah... so 4 it is... (I got carried away)  
> Anyway, thank you for reading, I've been updating less since I've got less time on my hands, but this is close to be finished and I have 3 currently-being-cooked ideas, it is always like that, the ideas come when I don't have to time to exploit them... anyway, I hope I'll update the last chapter soon!  
> Have a great day!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Sungjae, who had been looking out the window, apparently determined to ignore me throughout the ride didn't answer.

\- It was in the morning, around 10 I guess? I was heading home from a meeting when I noticed a young guy looking like he was about to faint on a bench, waiting for a bus. I went to see if he was alright and it appeared the guy was just completely drunk, or at least that is what I thought at first. The guy, in other words you, Yook Sungjae, kept on asserting he was fine but I felt so uncomfortable leaving you like that I suggested bringing you home. And that's about then you started being clingy. I managed to understand you did not want to go home and you made me go through the most embarrassing bus ride of my life. I don't even want to remember it...

I paused, it was a red light and the only noise in the car was the flashing light noise indicating I was about to go right, from the corner of the eye, I noticed Sungjae had turned to me and was frowning, taking it as a signal, I went on:  
\- Somehow, the only safe place I thought of was my place, so you ended up at my kitchen table. You had been all happy during the bus ride, but now, you seemed like you were about to break down, I seriously wondered what was wrong with you. You kept on switching moods. And at that point I knew your name, age, address, bank account number, assurance information, phone number, blood type and even about that scar you have on the right shoulder, and believe it or not, apart from your name, I did not ask to know any of this. If I had wanted to sell your kidneys... I could have...

Sungjae still wasn't saying anything, there was still a little time left before we arrived at his place, so I kept on:  
\- After you started crying when I asked if I could call any of your parents, you kept on with telling me all your life problems, and then you went on with why you liked fishes and seriously, I considered putting you back in the street as you wouldn't shut up...

\- Why are you saying all of this all of a sudden?

Sungjae's timing had been perfect, right when I was parking in front of his building.

\- Because I’ve just realized there might have been some kind of misunderstanding between us for… has it already been two years?

I had turned off the engine but Sungjae didn't move. He was still frowning and he seemed to be waiting, it took me a while to realize he was actually waiting for me to go on, so I did:

\- But I didn't since I'm a nice guy after all. And that's about when you started being mean. Seriously, I don't know what triggered it, we had just played your debt over rock paper scissors and I had lost, you said nothing proved I would really do it, so I got worked up and told you it would be done the next day, and I left you alone because I had taken like, 4 coffees while listening to your ramble, when I came back from the bathroom, that's when you became mean...

\- How is that clearing anything?

I sighed, Sungjae was such a bad listener sometimes...

\- If I started by the relevant part, you wouldn't understand anything, you idiot!  
\- You're the idiot.  
\- No, you are.  
\- No, if there is an idiot here, it’s definitely you…  
\- Nope, you’re definitely idioter than me.  
\- That’s not even a wor... you know what? I'm sick of it. Let me go home.  
\- No.

Before he could do anything I locked the car. I had started, I would finish.

\- Hyung, it's not funny, let me out. Really.

I shook my head no, I was dead serious, I would finish my story telling session, however, as always, Sungjae only did what he wanted and I got startled when he suddenly moved a lot closer to me, staring at me right in the eyes as he unlocked the car and moved away to step out.

\- I'm not gonna run away though,- Sungjae sighed - now that you've started, I've gotten curious.

It took me a few seconds to realize he was inviting me in and I quickly got out of the car, wondering why I always end up running after him, was it because of his long legs or because of my slow mind? True wonder...

As always, I sat on Sungjae's only chair, and he glared at me until I was back on my story, he was sitting on his bed and in any other day, I would have laughed at his dramatic expression, instead, I squirmed in my seat before continuing:  
\- Hum... where was I...? Ah yes, I came back from the bathroom and you were still sitting at the kitchen table, you glared at me, kind of like how you're doing right now... and you asked why I was so nice to you, I was taken aback, I mumbled that I didn't know and you sighed, looking annoyed, you kind of reminded me of the rich guy in movies that always has everything he wants and can't stand the rest of the world... and since you were crying until like, 20 minutes earlier I seriously wondered if you had some personality disorder... you added that if it had been the other way around, you wouldn't even have looked my way because you wouldn't have paid attention to someone as unattractive I was. That part... that part kind of hurt... you know... I might not be hand...

Sungjae had stopped glaring and looked mortified, cutting me off:  
\- I... I said that? Me? What... Why would I even... I'm... To the guy who had been nice enough to shelter me? I... I'm so sorry hyung... Really...

He stood up and grabbed my shoulders, aggressively apologizing... oh my... I wanted to keep going but Sungjae aggressively hugged me. Seriously, what is wrong with this dude, as if apologizing was a fight itself...

He wouldn't let me go so I kept on, trying to act like I wasn't affected by the closeness:

\- Yeah so that's kind of why I thought you were messing with me... And you also rambled on how you never wanted to meet me again and so I was surprised when you came to my office later. At first I thought you just wanted to annoy me. And though you did... I realized later, that you needed someone because you're... a mess.

Sungjae suddenly hugged me tighter and I almost died of suffocation; that kid needs to remember that I am old... really.

He finally let me go and said:  
\- I should punch myself you know...

I chuckled, imagining Sungjae running away from his own fits and tripping, ending up in punching himself and groaning in pain, screaming that he was sorry, I loved that image… Though, I still needed to sort my own feelings out, which was pretty much unrelated. Did I like Yook Sungjae?  
Good question, it shouldn't be hard to answer it...

I got brought back to the present when Sungjae asked me if I wanted to eat anything and I smiled, thinking about how he was still mad at me less than half an hour earlier...  
I nodded, smiling.

Around two weeks later, I was still undecided. Did I like Sungjae or not? Why couldn't I know my own feelings? Am I such a fool? I was drowning in my own incertitude and felt weird since I hadn't seen Sungjae since that day, I think this was the longest we hadn't seen each other in... a very long time. 

I was at Eunkwang's ready for watching a football match where Eunkwang would most probably spend more time bragging about his perfect boyfriend than actually watching anything, and I would just nod along to whatever he was saying, most probably myself thinking about Yook Sungjae and his annoyed stare, telling me I was "too dense"...

We both got startled when we heard knocking at Eunkwang's door, since we didn't expect anyone. He went to open, I heard some commotion and before I knew it, I was dragged up by a wild Yook Sungjae, who brought me to the entryway:  
\- Sorry Eunkwang hyung, I'll be borrowing Changsubie for a while! I'll bring him back safely, don't worry!!

Wait, where did my "hyung" go? I was still older than him, that disrespectful brat!

Once we were in the corridor, Sungjae added:  
\- So, hyung, I was passing by, I've got news for you, I saw my father again and he said he wanted to meet the crazy dude again, so I assumed he was talking about you because you guys needed to talk business...

He shrugged and I wondered why he needed to drag me out of Eunkwang's place to tell me that, especially after disappearing for two weeks, did he realize how much I had missed him? That brat...

Wait... I _had_ missed him. Like a lot... Even his disrespectfulness and his annoying giraffe laugh. And his messy hair. And his obsession for fishes. And his compulsive lying, and even his tiring narcissism…

 

Oh my god. Of course I did like him.

 

I mean, it was obvious, wasn't it? 

Why was I only realizing this now? As he was dragging me to the elevator, adding that he had something else to say and telling me about his meeting with his father, though I have to admit, I was so stunned by my own stupidity, I don't really remember anything he said.

Why had no one told me I liked him?

As he was pressing the button to get down, I could only watch and wonder what the hell he had been saying since I realized words had been flowing from his mouth since earlier.

\- So really hyung, thank you!

Wait, what the hell was he talking about????

\- You don't have to act all modest, you're a good hyung, you know? Anyway, I prepared something for you, I was unexpectedly rich since you wouldn't accept my money...

Shit, what had he been saying? And was he blushing????

That’s about then that I noticed he was still holding my hand. The proper reaction would have been to retract mine now that I had noticed… but it would be weird now, right? I just left it alone, feeling hot all of a sudden, I needed fresh hair… why was the elevator so slow?  
When it finally stopped, Sungjae went back to dragging me around.  
Wait, he had seen his father again? Were they like, on talking terms now?

\- Hyung, speed up, we’re gonna be late!

Okay, but late for what?

\- It’s not every day I can rent a car, so appreciate my driving skill to the most!!

It felt empty when he let go of my hand to enter the car and I was frozen in front of the passenger seat, was I really going to let him drive? Did I have some sort of death wish?  
\- Come on hyung!! Let’s go!!

Sungjae’s cheerful voice made me give up and I went in.

He turned on the engine and started driving too fast for my liking, I felt relieved when he slowed down, letting out a giggle:  
\- Hyung, don’t get so tensed up, I’m a pretty good driver you know… 

That did not reassure me.

I turned to the window, trying to relax, I didn’t want to hurt him. Night had fallen, it was getting dark out and the sky tonight was quite clear, there were a lot of stars.  
Sungjae took a few turns and after a while, we arrived at an amusement park. What?

Sungjae smiled parking the car, he turned to me:  
\- Don’t worry hyung, we’re not going on any ride, we’re here because there’s a special event tonight!!

He excitedly dragged me out of the car, and we went to the entrance. There I saw it, a huge poster announcing tonight’s firework festival. So that’s why so many people were here.

\- Come on hyung!!!

Sungjae took a hold of my hand again and I felt like I would have followed him anywhere, we ended up in a good spot, sitting on the grass, I hadn’t noticed he had brought a picnic mattress before he had put it down, we sat there, waiting for the show to start.  
Sungjae smiled at me:  
\- When I was very small, my parents and I would come here every year, I remember it as a magical experiment, my mother would cover my ears so I wasn’t afraid of the noise and I just watched… It took me very long to find it again, I was afraid they had closed down…

I smiled at him, I had figured it out from the moment I had seen the poster, Sungjae had told me about this too when we had met, but I wasn’t going to break it too him, I seemed so happy to be sharing this. I subconsciously moved closer to him, and when it started, I couldn't help but kiss Sungjae's cheek.

He deserved it, he had been too cute. And his reaction was even cuter, he started blushing madly and it made me want to kiss him again. He messily told me I should focus on the show, which I did, smiling fondly because he was too cute.

When it was over, we took out time going back to the car, Sungjae still seemed out of it and I wondered if I had triggered some odd button making the Yook Sungjae stop working properly, not making any narcissistic comment, I would have thought he would be like "what an amazing firework show we got to watch thanks to my amazing skills" or something like "I'm such a busy man, you should feel honored I spared an evening for this", instead, he was smiling like an idiot.

I took advantage of his dysfunctionment to convince him to let me drive on the way home, which he did. I was too lazy to go back to Eunkwang's so I drove directly home. Once we had arrived, Sungjae had gained back some composure and asked if I had liked the show, seriously Yook Sungjae... as if you couldn't ask me that on the ride back home...

I nodded and invited him in for a drink, though it had been lovely, it was a chilly night and we were both feeling cold.

You probably guessed it, he ended up deciding to sleep over (this was made on his own accord, without even asking for my consent, tsk...) and he had invested the couch (because unlike him, I owned one) saying when he would get richer, he would invest in one of those. If I were him, I would invest in a proper apartment, but he could do whatever he wanted, wait, I'm getting lost, so, since I'm an old man, I made us some tea (don't ask, when I suggested we took some tea, he was like "you're such an old man!", which I don't know how I should take...).

We slept early, though Sungjae harassed me saying I was such a kill-joy, some people actually need to sleep.

To be true, I spent most of the night tossing and turning because Sungjae was sleeping on my couch when I had very recently realized I liked him, and I had no idea how to break it to him...

_____

\- Hyung... hyyung!?!

...

\- Hyuuuuuuung!!!!

...

\- LEE CHANGSUB!!!!!

...

\- LEE CHANGSUB WAKE UP!!! YOUR ALARM HAS BEEN RINGING FOR TEN MINUTES IT'S KILLING ME!!!

Why? Sleeping is better. I should spend my life sleeping... and it's cold out...  
I turned, I was half awake now, but I have another alarm, it would be the right one, I was ready to fall back in the blissfulness that is sleeping when that little brat started talking again:  
\- Oh no, hyung, don't you dare turn away from me! Come on hyung, I made breakfast!!

... Breakfast?

I sat up, ready to go eat, and was met with Sungjae's "I'm so done with you" stare:  
\- I should have said that from the beginning... though it's not true...

He laughed evilly and ran away before I registered what he had just said. So... there was no breakfast then? I was ready to let myself fall back asleep when Sungjae came back:  
\- Just kidding Changsub-ah, I made you coffee.

Changsub _ah_? Where had the respect gone again? Ahhhhhhhhhhh! That brat, I stood up because seriously, that kid needed to be taught some respect, but once I had made it to the kitchen he was dying of laughter:  
\- I didn't make any!!

Yook Sungjae, one day, I'll kill you and your shitty sense of humor.

After a war almost broke out and Sungjae managed to survive, in spite of saying that I was scary when I had just woken up, I went to work, wondering if I was some kind of masochist for liking Yook Sungjae...

_**Sungjae:** _

Seriously, what is wrong with Lee Changsub? I mean, I still wonder about that a lot these days... but back then, what bothered me was that he hadn't rejected me yet, so I had some hope, but he wasn't saying he liked me, but then again, he was kissing my cheek (it took me a while to recover from that) and then not contacting me for a week, like he didn't care.

Until that one night, I went back home from my night part time job and found Lee Changsub sitting at my door. It reminded me of when we were just starting to be friends. Tsunderesub... Before I had time to ask him what in the world he was doing here, he stood up and seriously, I think he thought about running away, but changed his mind and nagged at me for taking so long coming back home... does he know there aren't that much subways during the night? I doubt it, that guy has probably never set foot in public transportation... always his car here, his car there..., but I'm getting carried away, let's get back to business:  
\- Hyung! Are you here to check if I'm still alive?

He looked at me like I was coming from an alien ship (omg I would love that so much, and in the ship, I would learn how to truly communicate with fishes, and I would lead them to dominate the world... WHY AREN'T THERE ANY ALIEN SHIP AROUND...?) and answered that no, he wasn't. He had come here to have a drink, and he brandished a plastic bag I had not noticed, and I shrugged, letting him in, alcohol was alright.

After we had settled, since I don't have a carpet, we had laid my blankets and pillows on the floor: this is why I don't need a couch, I'm so great I can adapt with anything.... As we had already started drinking, I asked again why he had randomly showed up in the middle of the night:  
\- With Eunkwang hyung, we had a very deep conversation, it ended up in concluding that I should sleep with you to see.

WHAAAAAAAAT? I almost died choking on my drink and I looked at him, blushing and scandalized:

\- WHAAAAAAAT?

I saw Changsub's eyes widewing in realization and he quickly hit my arm:  
\- No no no no!!! Not sleep like that you pervert!  
Changsub burst out laughing  
\- Okay... it sounded kind of wrong said like that!!! I meant sleep as in... both being asleep in the same place...

\- But... why?

Changsub shook his head:  
\- It's something you're too young to understand... 

I sighed, seriously? Not some better excuse? Using his age? Tsk...

I then don't really remember what happened, I guess we drank a lot... I remember waking up later, feeling cold and realizing we had fallen asleep at some point, Changsub was facing the other way and I could hear he was snoring a little, it sounded cute.... I put a blanket over the both of us before falling back asleep, feeling all giggly as I had just realized it was the first time ever we had slept in the same room.

When I woke up again in the morning, we were lying a lot closer to each other, Changsub had somehow managed to put his arm around me and I had been hogging most of the blanket, I figured he had gotten closer because of the cold and since he wasn't waking up, I put the blanket back on him nicely and went to look for anything to make my headache go away. Why had we drunk so much anyway?

I had time to take a shower, change and actually make breakfast before he woke up, I had prepared some hangover food and when he sat up, he looked like he needed it. Badly.  
\- Hyung! Here, I really did cook breakfast this time!!  
He vaguely nodded at me and I smiled, once he seemed a bit more alive and that we had eaten, we were both sitting on my bed:  
\- By the way hyung, I never got to tell you, I’m really sorry… it feels even worse since I don’t remember any of it… but, that night, I really wasn’t myself… and I want you to know, that no matter what my shitty alter ego said that night, I think you’re the most amazing and I’m so thankful you let me around… you even helped me fix things up with my dad…and…

I suddenly felt like tearing up, I turned away from him because I felt shy, for like, the third time of my life I think, and for a second I thought he didn’t care but I suddenly realized he was patting my back:  
\- You know Sungjae… you’re pretty amazing t…

He never finished as I might have thrown myself at him for the nicest hug of my life, he hugged me back, giggling and he later said the most unexpected thing ever:  
\- And you’re the cutest…  
I felt myself blushing and I leaned away, trying to be cool about it:  
\- Nah, the cute one between us would be you… I’m the sexy one… 

He burst out laughing and I joined him, though I had just stated facts…  
\- Sungjae-ya… next time one of us has a sleepover, let’s make it my place, I’m too old for this shit…

I laughed and suddenly remembered his so called excuse to come here:  
\- By the way hyung, did you figure it out??  
\- Hum? Did I figure what out?  
\- I don’t know, you tell me! You’re the one who came here!!!  
\- Ahhh!! Yes!

He stood up and pointed his finger at me:  
\- Yook Sungjae!!  
I didn’t know what it was about so I stood up too, starting to feel excitement take over:  
\- Yes?

He flashed me that “I’m so fond of something” smile (something, that right now, was me!) and added:  
\- I love you, you dumb idiot!!

I was taken aback for a few second, was he confessing or insulting me? Before I realized I didn’t care, he was a dumb idiot too and jumped around yelling that he loved me while he was dying of laughter at my reaction.  
I stopped and went to help him up (yes, he had fallen from laughing…) and took it as an advantage to do something I had wanted to do for a long time: a kiss.  
It wasn’t long but it felt amazing and once we parted, I smiled:  
\- I love you!!

He smiled and I smiled, and we probably looked like idiots, but it’s not like I cared so I just kissed him again, and again but then he suddenly stood up:  
\- I SHOULD CALL EUNKWANG AND TELL HIM ABOUT IT!!

Hum… making Eunkwang hyung a priority? I felt a feeling I had never really experienced before, but I suddenly felt a lot colder to that hyung, who was he for my Changsub to call him when he was with me? Was it what people refer to as jealousy…? I made him pay for it by being extra clingy all day, but really, he didn’t seem to dislike it… anyway, since I'm so great, I can't spend my life telling you about my life, so I'll just leave the rest up to your imagination... Just remember, that I am awesome! And that that idiot is mine!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!! I'm sorry, I intended to finish this faster but I got really stuck on how to end it...(+_+)  
> Anyway, thanks a lot for Reading and HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!  
> I will be back... and so will my stories... hasta luego...! (sorry, I'm really tired these days...)


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